Give Me No Lip
Let’s play a little game, shall we, Dear Readers?
I’ll count to ten, while you try to decide which celebrity sports these lips:
- one-mississippi
- two-mississippi
- three-mississippi
- four-mississi…..
- You cheated, didn’t you!
Well, of course, it is the lovely Julia Roberts! But, the poor dear girl has a problem and has written to me for advice!
Dear Dora,
People make fun of my lips! They say that because I don’t have that little dip thingie in the middle of my lips that my lips are “duck lips!” I didn’t even know ducks HAD lips.Should I get plastic surgery to make myself prettier?
Signed,
Pretty Woman
Dear Pretty,
We are proud of ourselves, now, aren’t we? You don’t need plastic surgery, for heaven’s sake. You’ve made a fortune on your looks (which aren’t “all that,” in my opinion). What more do you want? You Hollywood types are to quick to go under the knife. You start having surgery and you will end up looking like Joan Rivers! You could be featured on a blog for worst plastic surgery! Trust me, you don’t want that.
I’m not sure I want to help you anyway, because I’m still angry at you for dumping Lyle Lovett. Sure, the man has a face like a horse, and that hair of his is atrocious. But, he’s smart and funny and talented! You could put a bag over his head when you go to bed with him! Obviously, looks are the most important thing to you.
But, since you asked, I’ll try. That “little dip thingie” is your “philtrum” (from the Greek word for, “to love; to kiss”). It is a shame that you don’t have one. But, can’t you afford a lip pencil? Just outline those suckers and make them the shape you want them. Why, you could even have a “Cupid’s bow” if you wanted, though I just don’t think that would go well with the rest of your face.
I wouldn’t worry about what people say at all if I were you. You can just laugh that irritating braying donkey laugh of yours all the way to the bank.
Now, might I suggest a pair of tweezers for those eyebrows and a brush for that hair?
Kiss, kiss
Dora, you can be so rude! Poor Julia.
This Eclectic Life’s last blog post..A Man of Letters
Go back into your cage. I didn’t call you.
Poor Julia is right! Things could be worse. She could have TMJ like me and have to wear a splint giving her Angelina lips! It’s always better to have your own lips no matter what yours look like.
Jessica The Rock Chick’s last blog post..She’s Got Legs
It’s usually better to have your own anything. Poor Rock Chick. TMJ is not a laughing matter, and yet you make it so humorous when you write about it.